Wednesday, 7 February 2007

Chav Attack....again

Asalaams all..or whoever can be bothered to read this blog.....eeek.... ok well i have so many stories to share, many of which are mockery of myself....oh the shame the dread....can i bear to humiliate myself on here?

oh what the heck if you cant laugh at yourself then who can you laugh at...*and im only sharing this as herbi has told everyone...ok well let me tell you a little story about a girl....ok not really a girl, more like a psychotic wench, aka me. one, cold friday night, this tall, charming, elegant sister was walking home from the lavish home of royal friends *yeah right*, listen to her sony walkman, *the purple one...yaaay*....i think it was oh but an arab tune, the ones where you have to have such great resistance to wisthstand the urge of swaying your hips side to side, or maybe that was just her *wink wink*....anyways so as i was walking down the long road of wilbraham road, that never ends....grrr...and suddenly, "bam bam bam"....three hard hits from the side, one straight to my glasses, damn those poor glasses are always the target....damnation upon those who bully the spectacled eyed beings of this world...ok a bit drastic there but you trying putting yourself in those small, delicate, size five shoes. And then the next hit is straight to my left wrist, have you seen my wrists? they're bulimic *no they dont puck up after a large meal, but ach have a look, you see theyre not quite fat but then not so skinny* ooww that did hurt and well the final one, fell somewhere along the surface of the upper body/face, not quite sure, the shock of it all kinda took it out of me, and eurgh i see a big splog of egg, on my lovely pink wrap around thing, also used as hijab, *hey if i can use a tea towel why not a wrap...hmmmpft*, the tea towel joke roots from odd people who call headscarves tea towels, i dont what these people's mommas use in their houses but darn my momma only has a simple striped one, *yes ONLY one in my house and what???*

well anyways back to the story, so yes i, miss scary-lady-who-np-one-and-thats-no-one-messes-with, had been egged, ok those who know me well, will wonder how i avenged this attack on the not-so-innocent, well i couldnt do anything i had eggy glasses, and without my sight, i couldnt get the licence plate number, and so without that how could i go on my stalking mission to hurt these chicken bleeps, who didnt even have the guts to throw to my face without the use of a car.....grrr...i bet it was chavs....grrr....so its 1 -1.....

2 comments:

white african said...

you so should have done your horror look now that would have scrambled the eggs

NATIVE FEMALE said...

^
scrambled the eggs :D