Thursday, 7 June 2007

You Know Youre Somali!!

You have 4 to 10 siblings in one House!

You Live in Housing Association housing

You already know what your having for dinner – Bariis or Basto (Rice or Spaghetti)

You Eat bananas with every meal (Usually Bariis or Basto), and your probably eating one as you are reading this

You love eating Laahooo (like pancakes but wayyy better)

Your mother invites people you’ve never seen before to your house, and she tells you its your Edo, Athero, or Inn-Atheer (Aunt, Uncle, Or Cousin)

You know which tribe you are, and so quick to tell any other Somali person, unless you are ‘Midgaan’ tribe, then you don’t telll any one loll

You call yourself Somalian, even though that word doesn’t exist and it’s ‘Somali’Every Somali you know is some how related to you

You know 10 Muna’s and they all have nicknames cause its so damn confusing

You know 10 Mohammed’s in your city alone, that all call themselves ‘Moe’

Your name is Ahmed, Abdi, Abdirahim, Abdi-Aziz, or any other type of Abdi, Abdul, Abdulla, Aden, Ali, Mohammed, Osman, Hassan, Omar, Nasser, / Muna, Hamdi, Hamda, Amal, Ayan, Faduma, Idil, Iman, Najma, Nasra, Samaira, Sahra, Saida, Hani, Deqa, ….if none of these are your names you prolly know 2 ppl of every name

You have 100’s of cousins you’ve never met, but its cool, cause you can basically visit any country and have a relative to stay with

You bite your batteries or put it in the freezer thinking it will magically recharge!

You stay repping the hood you live in, but don’t own a property in the hood

You got your ass wooped by your Hooyo or Abo, and they’d always hit you with the closest object to them (my moms favorite her ‘Dacas’ (Sandal)

You crash weddings, and as soon as you get in there you ask ppl who’s the bride & groom

You call any other Somali lady, ‘Habo’

Youre with a person of the opposite sex, u gotta hide from any Somali woman cause you know soon as they get home, theyre gonna call your hooyo, and ANY other person they know

You celebrate your birthday on January 1…you immigrant

Your Hooyo or Abo drive a Mini-van

Youre good looking, (well most of us)

Your Skinny or Fat, because theres no in-between for Somalis

You call a towel, ‘Toowal’ and don’t care about this pokeman ‘Sukumaan’ business WEIRD Somali people are calling it

You call a Vacuum, ‘Hoover’, (I just discovered last year it wasn’t called a Hoover and that Hoover was just a company that makes Vacuums )

You say ‘Sigis’ instead of 6, and you call Detergent, ‘Tide’

You checked the ‘Somaligate’ website 10 times a day, to see if your picture was posted up or not …loll

You checked the Somaligate website, and laughed your ass off when you found out someone you hated got Xposed

Youre planning to get married before the age of 24 but know that will never happen

You know youre somali when your hoyoo screams on long distance phone calls

You know youre somali when you hang curtains infront of doorways

You know youre somali when you re-use cooking saleed

You Know youre Somali When You Hooyo Puts Qasil on her face

You know youre Somali when you got 5 brothers ready to beat up any nigga that try to holla at you

You know youre Somali when your hoyoo is the kitchen drinking shah gossiping, and your Abo is with the rest of his Chad crew at Tim Hortons

You know youre Somali when you leave your money at home, cause you know soon as you hit McDonalds with the homies they all gonna ask for money (“yo just a dollar yo, yo!!”)

You know youre Somali when you braid your hair in the afternoon and it takes 3hours to do it, and at night before you reach home, you unbraid it cuz you know hoyo & Abo will whoop your ass... piercing your ears... SAME THANG

You Know youre Somali when everyone in your house 18 or under is getting govervnment aid..and hALF of THEm WORK!! loool

You Know youre Somali When you pay 25 buckz to go to the riwayaad (party) knowing its going to end 2 hourz early with a ffist fight!!!

You Know youre Somali when you say close the lights instead of turn off the lights

You Know youre Somali when the back of ur TV remote control has some sort of Tape on it

You know youre Somali when every other word out of ur mouth is ‘wallahi’

You know youre Somali when...your mom & 10 of her friends/neighbours carpool together to go visit a sick person in the hospital....Then get mad at the hospital staff when told there can only be 2 visitors at a time in the room - the rest need to wait.

You know youre Somali...if you pride yourself on being the "only Somali" at your workplace/school (as if other Somalis can't achieve the same)

You know youre Somali...if you try to support Somali run businesses (just because they're your ppl, even if you can get a better service elsewhere

You know youre somali when you swear blind that you and youre hubby are separated so more benefits come your way...tut

30 comments:

NM said...

lol asia. you captured that rather well :) (sniggers to herself)

NATIVE FEMALE said...

lol
U r a joka Asia!

Aya said...

LOL. Too funny.

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AminaM said...

gd gd i smiled n nodded

Malika Ghedi Jama said...

LOL omg I loved - you know youre somali when you say close the light instead of turn off the light I WAS JUST TELLING MY MOM THAT THE OTHER DAY 'CAUSE SHE TOLD ME TO CLOSE THE LIGHTS..LOOLOOLLL!

Lady_K said...

cant believe i found u...as i was reading the posts i was like, herbi, NM, means i may know this person, it sounds like Asia...and lo and behold it was u!
hope u keep writing, its great fun for me reading!
Khalida x

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